Perspective

After the resolution to bleed, I had a few scattered thoughts on what to put down for today. The mind wasn’t empty, that was certain. Half a dozen thoughts came up and a few drafts of all that were made. After all, the first draft of anything is shit. That was Hemingway again. Then suddenly, a few hours ago, all that completely vanished.

Death came knocking. Not at my door of course, that would mean this here is the first actual instance of supernatural revelation of textual matter.

A classmate from school, a friend for some time, a young man had passed. He was a competitior in the class topper stakes at first, then only in a few subjects before he eventually took that mantle entirely to himself(that had more to do with me falling way behind. Not belittling his efforts though.). That was the association one usually made. Say his name and you would immediately visualize certificates, awards and ranks. He was more than that of course, a talented operator of the electronic piano, a well read man with a passing interest in basketball. A calm and collected individual with subtle leadership and good manners. He was from the same state as I was, and I discovered only after he passed, that he was from a town not far off from mine.

The man was conspicuous by his absence from social networks. Notoriously difficult to reach after completion of school. Everyone moved to different places for college and soon, the topper boy became just another boy. The occaisonal interest in finding his whereabouts led to hours of trawling facebook, twitter, google et al in vain. When I first heard news of him, the first time in nearly a decade, it was of his death. “Cyst in the brain” said one, “nay tumour”, said another. Whatever the reason may be, a young man of not more than 27 years of age passed away.

A student of mine of a similar age had died a week earlier. A foreign student, he battled his long term illness alone in college, away from his loved ones. He struggled a lot and recovered eventually. It was not to last long. His heart gave up when he was home and the tragic news made its way back to college in a few days.

Deaths often puts things into perspective. Our greed, vanity and self indulgence abates, albeit momentarily, at such news. I had often wished to go back to the old school with him and others and talk again, sing together again and laugh again like days of old.

People make resolutions on such days Some will decide to let loose and fly high and heady for our days are numbered. Some buckle up and sit down, vowing not to allow a short existence preventing them from getting to where they want to be in life.

Whichever alternative it is, for that moment, we are shell-shocked. Our own mortality looms in front of us. It is that what terrifies us more than anything else.

If anything, it puts things into perspective. You are lucky. You are alive. You are most likely healthy, with everything you need at your disposal. You are lucky. But death isn’t too far away. Do not fear death. it will come. Some day. Today, tomorrow, some day. Don’t wait for it. Don’t worship it.

Over time, these young men will remain footnotes to their old schoolmates, teachers and colleagues. Painful memories for their bereaved family and friends. And a reminder to us all on the brevity of life.

” … all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you.”
– Ernest Hemingway